Sometimes Things Get Broken

Heavenly Daddy,
"Sometimes things get broken,"my mother says.Yeah,right.My tractor breaks,both mowers break, and there is still stuff to do.
I curse the tractor and the mowers.A car broken as I try to fix it brings on more cursing.These poor dumb inademate words can't tell
anything I'm saying.And I ask for God to bring down curses on all these hunks of iron,the one object truly broken is me.The struggles and trials
that never seem to end.My spirit is broken under the weight of all the demands put on it.Whether actually put on me or self inflicted is
a matter for debate.I don't even know where to start.
Will there ever be a day with no more suffering and no more tears?I have had very few broken bones in my life.What ones I've had broken incapcitate that area
of your area of your of body.A spirit broken incapactates every fiber of your being.Am I beyond fixing?God,I've failed sometimes as a son I should be left for dead.
How do I deal a world that can't be trusted?Self interest has been put first.These weight of doubt bring me to the point of losing hope.Hope is all I have in You.
You didn't leave me, I left you.
Time heals all wounds they say.But healing leaves scar tissue that builds around my heart.It builds walls between you and
I.So easy to walk away,not so easy to stay.
In my brokeness all I can do is crawl to a place I felt safe as a child.In my father's arms.It was the place of my refuge.As I lay down to sleep with my heavy heart,may I be silent enough
to hear the unspoken words that You are near.Take the broken pieces while I sleep and let me love again.Tears,where have you gone from me?
Amen.

Overwhelmed

Savior,

I feel so overwhelmed.The old car is about to fall apart, and the stove quit last week.Momma is not feeling so good anymore.One of the kids may need braces.I didn't get much work this week and I got bills to pay.Two kids and a wife depend on me and I'm just one man.

I work so hard, I live so fast.And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last.I try to be tough.But I'm just not strong enough.I can't do this alone.God I need You to hold on to me.I try to be good enough.But I'm nothing without Your love. Please help me stand.I fall so hard.Savior,please take my hand.

Amen.

A Thanksgiving Prayer

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Matthew 25:35

Oh,God,when I have work,help me

to remember the jobless;

When I have food,

help me to remember the hungry;

When I have a warm home,

help me to remember the homeless;

When I am without pain,

help me to remember those who suffer;

And remembering,help me

to destroy my complacency

and bestir my compassion.

Make me concerned enough

to help,by word and deed,

those who cry out

for what we take for granted.

Black Ocean

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me. And he said, Go, and tell this people, Hear ye indeed, but understand not; and see ye indeed, but perceive not.

Isaiah 6:8-9

The ending of me is the beginning of You.

Lance Gargus

In a dream I had, there is a ocean that is completely black. The water is stormy and turbulent. Waves crash against each other as the wind blows. A mist blows up each time the waves collide. Sometimes it's hard to tell where the water ends and the sky begins. With each billowing roll, another one rises to join the last one that subsided. The white foam of the water is the only thing that breaks up the ocean's blackness. There is just a small amount of light to make out in this ocean in peril. I am sure anyone observing this display of power couldn't tell up from down in the middle of the chaos.

Yet, there is a light watching this tug of war. It is one single eye in the place where the moon should be. This eye seems to be changing as it radiates some sort of glow. The look is intense and piercing. The eye does not waver in its omnipotent presence.

And so the dream ends.

The words,"Black Ocean," resounds in my head. I rub my eyes and try to wake from the sleep.

This dream could mean alot of interpetations, but the one I think that most fits is about me. Dreams are always personal, and God always uses them to reveal something to us. They may be shrouded in mystery for awhile and only fully understood at a later date.

Lord,

You may be calling me out in my dreams, as Your Spirit breathes. Reaching for the deepest hope in me and calling out for the things of eternity. But I'm just a man of dust and stains filled with sitbacks and failures and upset plans that test my faith and leave me with empty hands. Are You not the closest when its hardest to stand? I know You will finish what You began. And these broken parts, You will redeem.

I'm overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness, and the fear that I'll fail You in the end. Oh, in this mess I'm just one of the pieces. I can't put this together, but You can. Somehow my story of soul searching is part of Your plan. Make me courageness enough to one day say,"Here I am, Lord, send me," in the midst of the turbulent black sea of my life. Until then, may your watchful eye ever be on me.

Amen.

by

Lance Gargus

My Father's Shoes

whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: Matthew 3:11 "The preaching that this world needs most is the sermons in shoes that are walking with Jesus Christ." D.L.Moody As a young child, I remember sitting in my parent’s room, watching my dad get ready for church. As a pastor, and one who felt that dressing in your best showed respect to God, he almost never went to church in anything but a coat and tie – always a suit. I would sit and watch as he picked out his clothes, running his hand along the ever growing collection of repp, paisley and woven ties until he found just the right one for that day. After the jackets, shirts and ties had been sorted through, out came the shoes. Dad’s shoes were not handmade or exotic. But Dad always kept his shoes in excellent condition; religiously polishing them to a deep, jewel like gloss. He would put his shoes on last, the final touch. He would start looking for them only to find a little boy had made away with them. When I was little sometimes I’d put on my dad’s dress shoes and clumsily walk around the house, giggling as I looked down at my feet. I always felt close to him, standing in his shoes. The shoes seemed like the largest shoes in the world to me. "How could his feet ever fill such big shoes?"my childish mind wondered,"They keep falling off my feet." After a hearty laugh at me, he snatched the shoes while tickling my feet. Smiling big I hoped to be as big as him someday. Maybe then I could wear shoes like that. It rained the whole trip to church. So I spent my time staring at rain cascading down my backseat window. My five year old thoughts considered,"What if I can't get inside the church? It sure is raining hard. I might sink in the mud and get stuck. I've done that before and walked right out of my shoes." This was just a brief thought. We had arrived. My dad quickly picked me up into his arms and headed toward the church house doors. "Oh,no it's so muddy. Surely,his shoes will get stuck in the mud,"I thought. 10 steps later we were inside. Glancing back over my shoulder,I shall never forget those footprints. They were deep into the ground, leaving a lasting mark. I saw others running and stepping in his footprints to keep from bogging down in the mud. He had been the first inside. His shoes, amazingly to me, had not come off. I asked,"How come your shoes didn't come off?" "I guess I just tied them good. I didn't have time to worry about that I had to get you in out of the weather." With no regard for the new shine he had put on his shoes and not worrying about what others thought he just reacted. Without a second thought, he did what had to be done. By doing so, he left deep foot impressions for those who chose to walk where he had. Isn't that what our Heavenly Father does for us? We so much want to wear his shoes, but until the time is right he carries us through the storm when we need it. As he carries us, if you look back over your shoulder you can see others choosing or not choosing to follow the deep footprints of our Protector. Dear Protector, Thank you for thinking of me first.Before you hung the first star in the sky, You knew my name. You knew the name of an insignificant young boy in his earthly father's arms, who needs You more than ever to carry Him. I lose my shoes alot in the mud,and I sink in the muck. Your shoes are always secure and your footprints forever leave a mark on my heart.

Amen. by Lance Gargus

A Ship's Destiny

Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Hebrews 6:19 Heavenly Father,

Your son is my anchor and I am just a ship seeking his destiny, of that I'm sure. But I sure have a hard time reading the stars on this trip. So I look to the map you gave me, the Bible, but I ain't much good at reading maps. You know I don't want to get lost at sea on life's little trip. Onward moves time's lonely ocean voyage. I use my conscience as a compass to try to read that map. I sure miss my earthly father's moral compass helping me to translate. I've torn my knees up praying when times were looking bad, only to forget You when I'm flying high above it all. Spent so much time flying high I spend more time lying face first in the ground. Dear Father, I've the scars to show from all the time I spent falling down. It's going to be a long hard ride, but I have to take it. So, God, if Dad's up there watching me, please, listen to the message I'm sending him from my heart to his,"I might need a hand to see him again someday. Lord have mercy, it seems I don't have a prayer. I just know I want to go where the streets are gold cause he'll be there. Help me to see Your ship that will carry me to him. When mine becomes too torn and battered lift me up to finish the final voyage in." by Lance Gargus

Prayer For A Lost Cause

My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
Psalm 38:10
God, I am a lost cause.... My brother felt that way at times. And now at this moment, I feel the same. So much is happening in my life, I don't know where to start. My heart calls out your name, Lord. Your sons and daughters long for You. Even the waves reach up to You. All creation screams out for it's Creator just like a hurt child screams out for a parent.
We are the lost cause without You. We are helpless and alone. The sufferings of this world chain us. You are hope in the darkness but You are so far away... I know there is always a dawn after darkness. A peace after the storm. A time for all this to end. But I am human Lord. I live in the moment. I can't see over the next horizon like You. All I see is my misery. I can only see the mud and mire that I slowly sink in everyday. The cares of this life pull on me dragging me down. And so, I just lay down in the muck and loose hope. The hopelessness and sins of this world drag me back to places I should never be. And as I loose one more light of love one in this world, mine grows darker. You have their lights, and I can't see them anymore...

I leave my son to spend sometime talking to You. He makes me pinky promise I will return to him. I could call him on the phone but it wouldn't be the same. You promised to return to end our suffering but when Lord...when? How much must we wait? How much longer can we stand hurting each other? I want to understand but I don't know how.

Help me to understand where Your light is in a world full darkness. Cause I need help in relighting mine. Cause You can't see mine if my light isn't bright enough. I've just about snuffed mine out... and I am oh so tired of trying to light mine alone.
Father, send the Holy Spirit to ignite me. And please don't forget this lost cause....Amen.

by

Lance Gargus

Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.
Psalm 38:21

I Fall Down But I Get Back Up

We all fall down in life. Life has a tendency to knock the breath out of us. Do we just lie there? In Proverbs 24:16 it says :"For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again."

One time we could understand. Two times we start to wonder. But seven times? God is not like a man. His mercy is unfathomable. He forgives more times than we can count. What do we do when we fall down? A just man gets right back up. He gets right back in line. He picks himself up. Starts walking back down that road. Back again to the mercy seat of God. Hitting our knees bowed before Him, we say,"Father forgive me. I've failed you again."

We all have messed up in life and had to get punished by our parents. They always seem to know about my mess up. And I always deserved punishment for it. "This hurts me more than it does you." I never understood that until I had children. There was that underlying Love behind that punishment.

Through it all, no matter how many times I messed up or how bad I was, they loved me. Never turning their backs on me. They would always give me another chance. Even when I had noone to call, they were just one phone call away. Waiting on me to call if I needed them. I was their child and nothing on Earth would change that.

God is like that with us. A understanding Father who knows our hearts before we speak it. Some people never had parents to love them. The relationship was torn or severed for some reason. They didn't have someone to run to. But I tell you, they do now.

A father of many chances. He's waiting on you. He patiently waits on all of us. Give the hurt to him. Let him pick you up.

My parents picked me up when I fell down. They fixed my toys when they were broken. When I got older, they helped fix my broken heart. You may not have experienced this growing up. But you have a Heavenly Father that is the great fixer, when it comes to matters of the heart.

You say, ‘you have no idea how many times I’ve messed up,’ it doesn’t matter – I’m introducing you to A God of Many Chances!

He cleans us up and dusts us off. We get back up everytime with His help. Thank you, God, that no matter how many times I fall. I get back up with your help. Then you will pick me up and carry me to your mercy seat.

Lord, I pray for You to help anyone who reads this today. Their lives may have been shattered by mistakes! People may have walked out of their lives and devastated them. This day we come before You for our friends who feel they failed too many times and can't turn to you. May the power of the Holy Spirit make Your presence known. May your comforter, the Holy Spirit, let them feel Your intense love! May they raise their head up. And see Jesus extended hand being given to them. Let them rise up and feel the merciful love You give.

In Your Precious and Holy Name, AMEN!

by Lance Gargus