Jim, Darling

Jim, darling, I hope you can see me down here.
And know what I have been thinking.
I know when you wanted to sleep in your own room toward the end that you were shielding me.
You didn't want to let me know how much you really hurt.
You wanted our granddaughter over here all the time.
To help me through the soon to be loss of you.
You was letting go and trying to help me.
Where it wouldn't be so hard when God called you home.
You was a wonderful, strong man till the last.
Always thinking about the ones you love.

Like when you was in the hospital, and you asked the boys to take care of their mother.
Honey, I love you so much that it still hurts now that you are gone.
You will always be here with me.
Like as your health was failing, and you were coughing so hard that pieces of your lungs were breaking up and coming up.
I knew your suffering was almost over, and the angels you were seeing was coming to take you home.
For till then I keep holding on.
Believing God was going to let you go home.
The doctor said don't let him continue to suffer, let him go.
Oh, how I didn't want to let you go.
Not without me.
I knew I had to let you go on without me.
As you were hours from your last breath, I kissed you good-bye with tears in my eyes.
I whispered in your ear to let go and go home.
Take Jesus's hand and don't fight anymore to stay cause of me.
I release you till we meet again, I told him.

Sometimes late at night as I am crying, I can feel you right beside me with your hand on my shoulder.
At your little granddaughter's basketball game tonight, you would be so proud of her.
She never gives up like you, and a sense of humor like yours always teasing.
She is so proud to say that she is just like her papaw.
Braggingly saying that your the best papaw in the world, and she is just like you.

Darling, I wished you could have stayed longer.
But when God calls, he knows best.

Thanks for trying to make things easier for me.
And asking to forgive you for anything you might have wronged me on in this life.
I had forgiven you of anything a long time ago.
I always cared for you.

You knew others wouldn't stand beside you and leave.
But through it all in this life I would stand beside you till the end.
You looked up and told me that I was so good to you.
But you were the one I realized who was so good to me.
I continue to love you, darling, and I go to my grave loving you.

Your wife in waiting until that day,
Lou

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My Grandmother's Hymn Book

This is Laura Ann's, my grandmother and dad's mother's, hymn book. She sung him songs on those cold, winter nights in Tennessee out of this book. She reinforced his faith out of this book. Her voice singing calmed him when he was upset with words from this book. She died singing words from My Times Are In Thy Hands out of this book. I sung my father that song before his death cause she was waiting on her boy to come home. This book was found among my dad's meager possesions. It is worth more than anything to me. For it is some small part of my heart not calloused by a cruel, unforgiving world. by Lance Gargus

Cleave unto the LORD your God,

as ye have done unto this day.

Joshua 23:8

Key Search Words:Christianity, Bible, Jesus, Angels, Soul Searching, God, Holy Spirit, Doves, Love, Children, Heaven