Hide And Seek

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day,... hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:8-9

I have been living in this house almost since the day I was born.

At times, these walls have seen me happy, other times it has seen me torn. They've had a front row seat to the breaking of my heart.

I remember running down the hallway with my brother playing hide and seek.

I didn't know I was searching for You, Heavenly Father, to notice me.

Sometimes I felt alone and undiscovered as children at that age often due.

I felt alone in a crowd, when I was really seeking You.

I want answers from You.

I ask,"Why do love ones have to die?"

No answer. I seek but never find.

The answer speaks to my heart of why and then I see You.

I see You, and I am the thorn in Your crown.

I see You, and I am the sweat from Your brow.

I see You, and I am the nail in your wrist.

I see You, and I am Judas' kiss.

See now, I am the man who yelled out from the crowd for Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground.

And then, I turned away with this smile on my face, with this sin in my heart, trying to bury your grace, as I am the stone rolled in front of Your tomb.

Yet, in spite of this, alone in the night, I still called out for You and ask, "Why?" I am so ashamed of my life and the reasons I doubt.

By this I am stilled.

In that moment, I feel a gentle breeze on my face carrying Your answer to me.... "Trust child, I love you anyways." by Lance Gargus

Lance, The Light Spear

But one of the soldier's with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came out blood and water.
And again another scripture saith, They shall look on him whom they pierced.
John 19:34;37Lance, the name means latin for,"a light spear." This spear was a tool of war and used in many ancient armies. A weapon of choice for Rome's army at the time of Christ. Cassius as he is called by some historians or Longinus by others was the one according to tradition who pierced the side of Christ. As he was on the cross, the soldier took the lance and jabbed it into him to make sure he was dead. Blood and water flowed from his side healing the soldier of an eye illness. He later became one of the early converts.
Now the "Holy Lance" or "Spear of Destiny" as it's been called has gone through many hands. Some claim whomever has ownership of it that their army can't be defeated. So many rulers and leaders have sought the lance. However,scholars have debated it's authenticity. Others still consider it a holy relic.
I think we all have missed the point. Though it was just one person who pierced Christ's side, why does it say,"They shall look upon him whom they pierced."?
We all held that spear, everyone of us. My name makes it especially clear to me, Lance, or logche as it is known in Greek. I pierce his side everyday. I relive that moment when I fail my Lord. My sin wounds him. Driving into his side deeper each time. The sin seperating me from him, trying to make him dead in my life. So blind this sin makes me. Just as the soldier was losing his eyesight, my failings blind me a little more.
In the midst of his sacrifice, I put in the final insult. How could he love someone who does him so wrong? Yet, love flowed from his wounded side; healing me of my blindness, restoring my sight, helping me to see. Blood and water washing over my face to light eyes long kept in darkness. Some how my shortcomings lead me back to the cross. And I fall upon my face to behold the true extent of the damage I do to my king. Hanging there for all the world to see my shame. I drop the spear from my hands. Sick to my stomach of what I have done. Wondering and trembling at a love so amazing. Tears, moans, cries cannot express the suffering I have caused him. These hands held the lance that not just pierced his side but his heart.
God, have mercy upon me. I am resposible for the jabbing of your son's side. He asks You to forgive me and You do. This love I cannot comprehend, nor wrap my mind around. All I know is that my sacrifice is small compared to His.
Jesus, as my body is broken through the years of my soul searching, and as the pain comes on with the wear and tear of time. May this be an offering of love to You.
Amen.by
Lance Gargus