The music plays as I watch them dance. My three year old son enjoys dancing round and round, and side to side with his mother. He giggles and laughs as she spins him. His world in that time and moment is her. Nothing can touch him, nothing can break the bond. Something inside me knows why he's so fascinated with her. It's a little thing that you can't quite put your finger on.
I run to the next room to capture the small moment on film. Unknowingly capturing it with my heart, until I reflect upon the day's events.
Why is it that God has to send the storms into my life before I notice the important things?
I fight against His will like a horse that refuses to be broken. Only when I'm lying face down looking up do I truly see Him. I truly see my blessings through the looking glass of God. Moments that become memories. Small reflections of God's tender love in a often unforgiving world.
My ambitions, my dreams of who I wanted to be could have turned out a thousand different ways. The sad thing is, I wanted it to be my goals not His. I thought true happiness meant finding what I wanted. Little do I understand that true happiness is finding out what He wants. His plans and my plans don't always come together.
Learning to let go of what I want and seek what He wants is ongoing project in my life. It's lead me to some interesting and not always pleasant places. In fact, its lead me to the point where I try to run. He refuses to let me go.
"God, why have You put me in this valley?" comes the questions in my thoughts, "Wasn't I meant for something more? Others seems to walk on air, with no hint of turbulence. Why not me?"
I'm looking at my surroundings and not looking at Him.
God sends the Comforter. He says," The music has started." I say,"I'm scared." He extends His hand for me to take it. I look at the world swirling around me. Voices flood my mind with promises and hopes of a better life, if I just take their hand. Their way seems so easy. He says again,"The song will end soon. And we won't get to dance." I take their hand. As long as the tempo is high, they hold me close. Giving me everything that I want and desire. But like all songs the tempo eventually slows. I find myself with noone to hold my hand. I spin out of control across the dance floor with noone to take the lead. Oh, what a fool I have been. Noone will want me now. A hand reaches for me. A hand as gentle as my mother's was back then. It grasps mine and pulls me near. "I saved this song for you," comes the Voice. Just like my mother saved a special song for her and I to dance to when I was little, as my wife does now with my son, the Holy Spirit takes my hand to draw me back into a dance with Him.
That boy of mine looks at his mother with all the adoration in the world. He refuses to take his eyes off her. Matching and mimicking every step she takes with all his might. It's not work to him or drudgery. It's joy unspeakable to him. I was that way once, at his age, with my mother.Great Guardian of all who trust in You. Help me to find that trusting little boy buried deep inside. The child who longs to hear that special song meant for him.