My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
Psalm 38:10
God, I am a lost cause.... My brother felt that way at times. And now at this moment, I feel the same. So much is happening in my life, I don't know where to start. My heart calls out your name, Lord. Your sons and daughters long for You. Even the waves reach up to You. All creation screams out for it's Creator just like a hurt child screams out for a parent.
We are the lost cause without You. We are helpless and alone. The sufferings of this world chain us. You are hope in the darkness but You are so far away... I know there is always a dawn after darkness. A peace after the storm. A time for all this to end. But I am human Lord. I live in the moment. I can't see over the next horizon like You. All I see is my misery. I can only see the mud and mire that I slowly sink in everyday. The cares of this life pull on me dragging me down. And so, I just lay down in the muck and loose hope. The hopelessness and sins of this world drag me back to places I should never be. And as I loose one more light of love one in this world, mine grows darker. You have their lights, and I can't see them anymore...
I leave my son to spend sometime talking to You. He makes me pinky promise I will return to him. I could call him on the phone but it wouldn't be the same. You promised to return to end our suffering but when Lord...when? How much must we wait? How much longer can we stand hurting each other? I want to understand but I don't know how.
Help me to understand where Your light is in a world full darkness. Cause I need help in relighting mine. Cause You can't see mine if my light isn't bright enough. I've just about snuffed mine out... and I am oh so tired of trying to light mine alone.
Father, send the Holy Spirit to ignite me. And please don't forget this lost cause....Amen.
by
Lance Gargus
Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.
Psalm 38:21
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